THE STORY THUS FAR……

Rick Dodge was shot ten times by Michael Bolton, he died and went to Heaven where he was to be judged by St. Peter. After much examination of his character and the revelation that Rick Dodge purposefully destroyed pop star Jennifer Rose’s career because she reminded him of his estranged wife it seemed clear that Rick was Hellbound. At the last moment his wife, Tina, appeared as an angel and informed him that he wasn’t quite dead yet. The doctors had managed to stabilize him and he’d been in a coma for six months.

But she was dead.

Rick wakes up to find his mother, Eleanor, ready to pull the plug, collect the insurance money and sell his house. When he returns home he finds his best friend Mud has moved in, worse news – his mother drops off his twin babies, Zachary and Adelaide, the next day. He had no idea Tina was pregnant, no clue he was a father, no clue how to raise a baby, no idea how to be a better man.

St. Peter sees his struggles, his selfishness, Rick’s refusal to acknowledge a problem and decides that what Rick needs is a probation officer/guardian angel. And the only one Rick might respect enough to listen to is one Elvis Aaron Presley.

Rick’s first act upon meeting Elvis is to toss him out a window.

Rick’s music review website, Dodge the Bullet, was popular before he got shot but has lain dormant for too long so his mother (also his agent and business manager) books Rick on a bunch of talk shows, all of which end with Rick getting his butt kicked. It revitalizes the site but Eleanor believes that won’t continue unless Rick does 100 reviews in 100 hours, as both a stunt and a way to catch up on the music he missed while in a coma.
Eleanor was expecting craziness but the trip back from Heaven left Rick’s health in remarkably good shape so she decides to juice the nuttiness; rain of frogs, clouds of bees, floods, getting biblical on his bottom, that sort of thing.

The promotion is hugely successful but unfortunately the craziness is used by Tina’s lawyer to argue that Rick Dodge is an unfit parent and the twins are taken from Rick and placed in his mother’s custody. Rick meets with Tina’s lawyer and discovers that it’s Artie, his one time best friend who turned on him when Rick stole Tina from Artie.
As Rick’s preparing to fight for custody an offer comes in to replace Simon Cowell on American Idol. Rick initially refuses but Elvis convinces him that taking the money will help him take back his kids.

At first Rick tries to be a nice guy so as to appear like a better man in the custody hearing but after one too many bad singers he explodes and insults everyone in sight. Ratings go up. Kara DioGuardi gets fired. Ratings go up. American Idol hires Steven Tyler. Ratings go up. Rick starts insulting Steven Tyler. Ratings go up. Only problem is that the show has become a sausage fest and American Idol believes that they need a hot chick to stabilize the show. And if she just so happens to have homicidal intentions towards one Rick Dodge? All the better.

They hire Jennifer Rose on a tryout contract. She and Rick spend all day arguing, insulting each other, threatening bodily harm and American Idol is hoping for the fireworks to continue on the show.

But Rick does something no one could anticipate he would do; he apologizes and seems sincere doing so. Their day of judging is pleasant but boring and because of that Jen Rose is fired.

Rick celebrates by singing a parody song called Laughin’ at your Pain while (oddly enough) he sings and dances in the rain. The next day he’s informed that Ford, Idol’s major sponsor, is displeased with his last name and would very much appreciate him changing it to something more appropriate. Like Ford.

Rick Dodge agrees and after an extravagant ceremony (involving monkeys, blimps, and giant electrical Ford signs) he marks his territory by urinating on the unfortunately damaged electrical Ford sign. He gets electrocuted and dies for the second time.

American Idol decides the best way to honor him is to throw a concert but when none of the acts wants to honor Rick Dodge they decide to rename and repurpose the concert into a celebration of Rick’s death. With the big finale being a performance by Jennifer Rose of a song called Rot in Hell.

Unfortunately for them Rick Dodge didn’t fully die and is hanging on to life in a coma. They decide to fix that but they arrive a few moments too late and Rick Dodge is once again alive and bitching.

American Idol has too much on the line for the concert not to go ahead (lots of money, and Jennifer Rose has unwittingly signed a contract that if she performs at the concert they will then own her career. Gaining most of the money and all of the decision making power).

Rick Dodge arrives just in time, thanking the acts for coming and saying he considers their presence a tribute to just how right they think he always was.

They all leave. Ryan Seacrest is forced to try to quell an incipient riot by singing.

It does not work.

He ends up badly beaten in the hospital. The Hollywood Dome is burned to the ground. American Idol is pulled off the air for a month to retool.

Rick Dodge is fired.

He’s still not sure why.

But somehow being fired gave him a generous severance package, renewed street credibility and, of course, time to wage the custody battle to get his babies back.